Damian Balassone was born in Melbourne, Australia in 1972, the child of an Italian migrant family who had settled in the working class suburb of Collingwood. He graduated from Deakin University in 1994 and has worked variously as an itinerant fruit picker, a bean counter, and as a teacher. His poems have appeared in a variety of Australian and international publications. His first book Chime (Ginninderra Press, 2013, later reissued on Kindle) is a collection of song lyrics, ballads and narrative poems that span the width and breadth of the Australian continent.
Since the publication of Chime he has suffered from severe hearing loss, tinnitus and hyperacusis (hypersensitivity to everyday sounds) with obvious consequences to his headspace – hence, a propensity to focus on shorter works of poetry. In doing so, he swapped the panoramic Australian landscape for what he calls pithy takes on popular culture, corporate duplicity and political wankery. These short poems and epigrams later came to the attention of the acclaimed Australian poet Les Murray, who published a stack of them and described Balassone as a ‘virtuoso’.
During this period, Balassone released Strange Game in a Strange Land (Wilkinson Publishing, 2019), a collection of short, playful rhymes about the great and glorious game of Australian Rules Football. Unexpectedly, the book met with some success in his homeland, acquiring national radio and television exposure, and selling several thousand copies.
His third book Love is a Weird Cat is forthcoming. This collection contains more than 100 short poems and epigrams that have been published in venues such as The New York Times, The Australian, The Spectator, The Canberra Times, Light, Abridged, Cordite, Quadrant, First Things, Shot Glass Journal, Eureka Street, Arena, The American Bystander, Asses of Parnassus, Snakeskin, Better Than Starbucks, New Verse News, Daily Drunk Magazine, News Weekly and Lighten Up. In addition to the epigrams, the book also includes many short prose-poems that combine arresting imagery with emotional impact.
Damian Balassone’s poems have appeared in more than 100 publications, most notably in The New York Times, The Australian, The Canberra Times and The Spectator.
He now lives in Warrandyte, Victoria, an outer suburb of Melbourne.
FOOTY – POETRY AND AUSTRALIAN RULES FOOTBALL
Australian Rules Football (also called Aussie Rules, or footy) is a contact sport played between two teams on an oval field. Goals are worth six points and the primary methods of moving the oval ball are by kicking, handballing and running with the ball. The game features frequent physical contests, spectacular marking (i.e. catching the ball from a kick), fast movement and high scoring. The sport has the highest spectator attendance and television viewership of all sports in Australia, while the Australian Football League (AFL) is the nation’s wealthiest sporting body. The AFL Grand Final, held annually at the Melbourne Cricket Ground (MCG), is the second-highest-attended club championship event in the world (just behind cricket’s Indian Premier League).
Damian Balassone’s father became a regular follower of Collingwood Football Club. The young Damian attended footy matches as a boy in the 1980’s, often sitting on his father’s shoulders in the outer of Victoria Park as he began to follow enthusiastically, recognising a hero of sorts in a player named after the Marvel Comics character The Hulk. (He discusses his love of football in an interview with Barbie Robinson.) His second collection, Strange Game in a Strange Land, subtitled A Poetic Celebration of Australian Rules Football is a poetic response to Australian Rules Football in all its glorious incarnations, from the tip of Tasmania to the Tiwi Islands, from the opening bounce of the season through to the seagulls descending onto the G at the conclusion of the Big Dance in a quirky collection of quatrains and couplets.
Brief Poems by Damian Balassone
FOOTY POEMS
My Nonna
When I started playing Aussie Rules,
my nonna’s face turned red.
I asked her what the problem was,
and this is what she said:
‘An oval ball, an oval ground,
for men with oval heads.’
***
Retrieving the Footy from the Tree
I climb the neighbour’s back veranda
and shake their precious jacaranda
until I hear the thrilling sound
of leather landing on the ground.
***
The Half-Back Flankers
We strive to run the lines until
the opposition breaks.
Imagination is the name
we give to our mistakes.
***
All poems © Damian Balassone. Reprinted by permission of the author.
HOLLYWOOD POEMS
Hollywood Hair Cycle
I once had hair like Moses,
but now my mop is thinner.
I once was Charlton Heston,
but now I am Yul Brynner.
***
Airbrushed
The biopic refused to show
the mole of Marilyn Monroe.
***
At a Restaurant in Berlin, 1936
You asked the famous leader
to autograph your napkin.
You thought that he was Hitler.
He signed it ‘Charlie Chaplin’.
***
Antipodean Romeo
As stars light up the jacaranda,
he’s climbing up the back veranda.
***
Greta Garbo
Because you’ve been dehumanised by fame
you wanna go where no one knows your name.
***
These “Hollywood Poems” first appeared in the magazine Eureka Street.
All poems © Damian Balassone. Reprinted by permission of the author.
HEBREW COUPLETS
The Fall of Nebuchadnezzar
He once was king of Babylon…but now
he’s drenched in dew and frolics like a cow.
***
David and Bathsheba
He watched her bathe.
‘She’s mine,’ said Dave.
***
Jacob’s Lament
‘The problem with my brother Esau:
his friggin’ mood is like a seesaw.’
***
Samson On Delilah
‘Delilah took me by the hand
and led me to the Promised Land.
With just a wiggle of her hips,
she triggered my apocalypse.’
***
Advice from Jonah
‘If God is calling and you bail,
you might end up inside a whale.’
***
Garden of Eden
A multitude of monsters will be on the loose
if man and woman work out how to reproduce.
***
These “Hebrew Couplets” first appeared in the magazine The Footy Almanac.
All poems © Damian Balassone. Reprinted by permission of the author.
From THE ASSES OF PARNASSUS
Lord Byron on Twitter
I awoke one morning
and found myself cancelled.
***
The iMirror
To google
yourself
is the gravest of errors,
your screen is
replaced
by the mirror of terrors.
***
The Gambler
The gambler knows that if he somehow wins
it covers up a multitude of sins.
***
On Grandma’s 107th Birthday
I wonder if she’ll ever meet
her maker in the sky.
This lady just keeps keeping on.
She’s lost the will to die.
***
Carnival of Colours
At the carnival of colours
(though they’re trying not to show it)
all the poets want to be singers
and the singers want to be poets.
***
These poems were first published on The Asses of Parnassus blog.
All poems © Damian Balassone. Reprinted by permission of the author.
From LIGHT POETRY
The Housewife’s Dream
Each day she craves
a different sin.
Today she dreamt
that she was in
The House of Mirth
in no apparel
with Colin Firth
and Colin Farrell.
***
Defrocked
I once abstained from sin,
but now I’ve had my fill.
I once was Benny Hinn,
but now I’m Benny Hill.
***
Papal Nation
Italians are a people of integrity
who celebrate a celibate celebrity.
***
Phrases
The phrase ‘white men can’t dance’ is harsh but fair
…unless of course your name is Fred Astaire.
***
The Christian Suitor
‘The sacred Song of Songs –
the Abrahamic Cupid –
decrees that you and I
should shag each other stupid.’
***
These poems were first published on the Light Poetry site.
All poems © Damian Balassone. Reprinted by permission of the author.
From LOVE IS A WEIRD CAT
Final year assembly
The children gather in the gym
to hear the last goodbye,
and through the skylight high above
they glimpse the summer sky.
***
Blind boy dreaming
A clique of corporate men
prepare to raid the earth again.
Despite their schemes,
the blind boy of the village dreams.
***
Love is a Weird Cat
Love is a weird cat
that sneaks up on you
when you’re lying on the couch
and brushes its soft fur
against your cold cheek,
before disappearing without a trace.
***
Cleopatra
She’s put an end to all my grand endeavours
and now my dreams are mummified forever.
***
Our Marriage Soundtrack
I think of our marriage quite often.
I think of the music as well.
It started with ‘Stairway to Heaven’
and ended with ‘Highway to Hell’.
***
Bathroom Wars
While stationed on the toilet seat of life,
I’m told to get a move on by my wife.
***
The Old Preacher Retires
I leave the pulpit
with nothing left to prove.
I once moved mountains,
but now I cannot move.
***
The Bureaucrat
He served the republic with utter distinction.
His days in the office were memorable ones:
he covered the monsters with insect repellent
and shot the mosquitos with elephant guns.
***
The Importance of Religion
Those who loathe religion
are slow to contemplate
that Lennon met McCartney
at the church fête.
***
These poems are from Damian Balassone’s forthcoming collection, Love is a Weird Cat.
All poems © Damian Balassone. Reprinted by permission of the author.
LINKS
Strange Game in a Strange Land
The Twitter (X) account of Damian Balassone
Five longer poems by Damian Balassone on the Footy Almanac site
Links to poems and articles by Damian Balassone on the Muck Rack website
Children’s poetry video of Damian Balassone reading his poem “The Sportsman or the Scientist?”
All poems © Damian Balassone. Reprinted by permission of the author.
Brief Poems 